Poker Face
by joshuaorrizonte
Summary: As Lloyd finally comes to grips with who Kratos is, Kratos' three words of wisdom sets them both free from that dark event in their pasts. (Complete, SPOILERS)
1. Poker Face

Poker Face

Author's Notes: Tales of Symphonia, and all of it's characters, belong to Namco. I'm just borrowing them. Please don't sue me, I don't have much to sue for.

This vignette has SPOILERS. Don't read beyond this line if you haven't played the game and don't want it spoiled for you.

Enjoy.

* * *

Dirk sat sullenly at the table over tea. He barely looked up when Lloyd, his foster-son, and his friend Colette walked past him and up the stairs to Lloyd's room. Normally he would have prevented them from doing so, little Casanova that Lloyd _thought_ he was; however, he was just in too sour a mood to bother tonight. Besides, this being such a sad night, what with Colette and Raine leaving the next day, well, he might as well give the two some privacy. After all, it would be a very, very long time before they saw each other again, if ever.

His tea-sipping was interrupted by a heavy-handed knock on the door. Puzzled, Dirk stood. "Just a moment." Who of them would actually knock on the door? Genis, Raine and Colette were practically family. They knew they didn't have to knock.

Dirk opened the door and was confronted by the man he'd totally forgotten was there, the mercenary the kids picked up on the way to the Church of Martel earlier that day, Kratos. The man's expression was completely blank; even more so than when he'd been first introduced. Something was bothering him, clearly, although he was trying very hard not to show it. "May I speak with you for a moment?" Kratos asked him.

"Sure, sure, come in," Dirk acknowledged, backing from the door to let the mercenary past. "Have a seat at my table. Would you like some tea?"

"Please." Kratos seated himself stiffly; now that he was in the light, Dirk saw clearly that Kratos was _very_ tense. Dirk poured the man a cup, then refilled his own and sat down again. "Something I can help you with?"

Kratos took a sip of the tea before answering. "Do you know if Lloyd's father is alive?"

Dirk shook his head. "If he is, he hasn't taken much interest in him." The dwarf was startled to see a flicker of emotion cross the mercenary's face, so momentary that he wondered if it was merely a trick of the light. "Why do you ask?"

Kratos stared at him for several moments. _Say something_. A blink, a stutter. _NOW, damnit!_ "Just curious. I wasn't aware that he didn't live with his parents."

The dwarf was intrigued, the mercenary's answer struck him as odd. Very, very odd. He watched Kratos's face intently, now, as he spoke. "He never knew his natural family." A thoughtful pause. "His father may be alive; after all, it was only him and his mother when I found them."

"Found them?"

"On the cliffs overlooking the Human Ranch."

"I... see..."

Kratos's interest in his foster son was beginning to make a bit of sense. Dirk knew he had to tread with care, now, as he had the feeling that one wrong move, and the conversation was over. He had to be sure his guess was accurate, however; the mercenary's interest in Lloyd struck him as a bit creepy and he wasn't sure he was comfortable with it. Dirk shrugged slightly, and sat back. "I guess it's not fair to condemn his father for not being around. After all, he might not have a clue his son is alive himself."

A terse, "Indeed," was the only response he got.

Dirk sipped his tea a bit more, thoughtful. Yes, it was obvious, Kratos thought that he was Lloyd's father. Humans were _so_ easy to read. "You know, I wonder if Lloyd wouldn't have a right to know that his natural father were alive, if he is and aware of him," Dirk said slowly.

Kratos shook his head. "He may have that right, but it might not be in his best interest." Dirk cocked his head at the mercenary, who explained further, "You are his family, as far as he's concerned. Discovering that his natural father is alive, and knows of him, would shake Lloyd's whole life. It would bring unnecessary grief for him."

"You have a point there." Dirk watched Kratos as he sipped his tea. Silence between them stretched for several moments. Kratos was deep in thought, and off-guard; here was Dirk's chance to put it in concrete. "He has your eyes, you know."

Kratos's head jerked up, the indifferent veneer shattered like glass falling to the ground. Dirk smiled. "If you're going to hide it from him, you're going to need a better poker face."

The startled expression vanished, replaced once again wit the blank, apathetic glare. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't, lad," Dirk replied kindly. "You're out of tea. Would you like some more?"

"No, no thank you." He stood. "I'm going to start back to Iselia. Tell Raine and the children to follow when they're finished here. I won't go too far ahead." With that, the man retreated, trying with all his might to hide just how hard he had just been shaken.


	2. What Are They Hiding?

**A/N:** Okay, okay! I broke down and wrote another chapter. There will be three chapters, I think. This WAS intended as a one-shot but I've been racking my brain for ways to continue it, and I THINK this works. Many apologies if it's not as good as the first... I tried. ;)

* * *

Lloyd threw himself down on the bed, burying his face in his pillow. He was grateful that the others had gone to sleep. He was tired, his stomach hurt. He wanted to be alone. 

Kratos and Colette. Both left him at the same time, at the Tower of Salvation. In the most horrid ways possible. Colette had forgotten him, after lying to him the whole journey, telling him she'd be fine, letting him believe that she would come back from Heaven once her work was done.

She _lied_ to him. Several times. She _lied_. Just like Kratos did-

-but he couldn't really accuse the Angel of Cruxis of lying. Not a single untrue word passed his lips. He was a mercenary; he had accepted money to protect Colette. It was, after all, merely a job for him, an assignment given to him by Yggdrasill.

Lloyd rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He understood Colette's reason for lying. That dork always insisted that the weight of the world should be on _her_ shoulders, that she was the Chosen, she needed to accept her fate without complaint. She knew he would try to stop it if he knew, and he did try.

He closed his eyes as he realized that he couldn't say that Kratos had tried to kill them, either. _They_ had attacked the Angel. He merely defended himself. Perhaps that was why he was holding back in that fight; his intention was to ensure Colette became the next body for Martel, not to hurt them. And he was holding back. The four of them- Professor Sage, Sheena, Genis and himself- shouldn't have been a threat to the Angel. Kratos should have been able to make quick work of them. He hadn't wanted to, for some reason. He _let them win._

It didn't make any sense! Even in Tethe'alla, Kratos protected him, and Colette, from being captured at Fooji mountains. Kratos tried to warn them of Colette's illness. Kratos tried to stop them from forming pacts with all of the Summon Spirits. And when they'd done it, and that... monstrosity sprung up from the Great Seed, Kratos ignored Yggdrasill's orders and helped them restrain it.

_Why?_

And now... now they were leaving him again. Colette's body was _crystallizing. _They had to trust that Altessa would help her, because Dad couldn't. And Kratos... He was returning to Cruxis. The truce they had formed had been momentary; once the Angel had what he wanted, he turned his back on them once more.

Lloyd opened his eyes again. Did Kratos really turn his back? His words haunted Lloyd: _Remember the words of the Unicorn at Lake Umacy._ Kratos knew something they didn't. Damn him and his cryptic words. Why not just come out and say it? After all the time they'd travelled together, all the _trust_ Lloyd and his group had put in him, was it that hard for Kratos to trust _them?_

It was then that Lloyd realized that the stone in the pit of his stomach that had pained him wasn't dinner. He wanted Kratos to stay. _It hurt._

_Why?_

It always came back to that one-word question. Only Kratos could answer it, and he'd made it clear that he wasn't going to. Perhaps... the simplest explanation was the most true. They were being manipulated for whatever Kratos's intentions were, and it had nothing to do with their wellbeing. He wanted something, and Lloyd and his group were a convenient vehicle to get it.

_It hurt._

His ears picked up the sound of footsteps on the stairs; Lloyd turned his head in time to see his foster father step into the room. "Hi, Dad."

The Dwarf, never one to mince unnecessary words, smiled at the greeting but didn't offer one in return, merely speaking his mind. "You're upset about something."

Lloyd sat up, stunned at Dad's statement of the obvious. Usually it was Lloyd himself that did that... "Well duh. I mean, Colette is-"

Dad shook his head. "I don't mean that, Lloyd. I know you're very concerned for your friend. It's natural." Lloyd tilted his head to the side, wondering where Dad was going with this. "It distressed you when Kratos left, didn't it?"

Lloyd looked at his hands in his lap. "No. He's a traitor. I didn't want him around anyway."

"Dwarven Vow number two: Lying is the first step on the path to thievery!" Dad came into the room and hoisted himself up on the edge of Lloyd's bed. "I saw the look on your face when he declined my invitation and I saw the look on your face when you came back inside."

Lloyd scowled at the Dwarf. "Colette's more important right now than trying to figure that... _jerk_ out."

"Yet here you are, lying in bed, trying to figure him out-"

"I am not!" Lloyd snapped, and immediately regretted it, a deep flush spreading on his cheeks and his hands tightly clasped together. Dad looked shocked, but once the initial shock faded, his expression reverted back to the same concerned one he wore before. Lloyd suddenly took an intense interest in his fingernails as he spoke. "It's just that... he _used_ us. He used us and I'm positive, I'm _totally_ sure, that he's using us again." Lloyd looked up at his foster father once again. "He told me to research the ancient war, and to remember what the Unicorn told us, if we wanted to cure Colette. But it's not to help us, it's to help himself!" Lloyd's hands balled into fists. "He doesn't care about us or Colette at all! We're just _tools!_"

"That's not true."

Lloyd's eyebrows shot up. Dad spoke those three words with such conviction that it was Lloyd's turn to be shocked. "Wh... how can you say that? How do you know that? After everything he's done-"

Dad looked like a deer confronted by a hunter, very momentarily. He stuttered before patting Lloyd's hands comfortingly. Lloyd released his fists at the touch. "I just have a feeling. Dwarves are good judges of character, and I've got a hunch that Kratos is trying to help you in his own way. You may never know why, what his reasons are. But you'll eventually know that he's on your side."

The teenage swordsman gaped at Dad. "How can you defend him like this!"

Dad sighed and slid off the bed. "Get some sleep. You've got another long journey ahead of you."

"You know something I don't, don't you!" Dad gave him a sad, affectionate look, and Lloyd took it as an affirmative. "Damnit! Tell me! What's going on?"

Dad shook his head. "It is as I say it is. A mere gut feeling. Now sleep, my son."

Lloyd watched Dad leave the room. There was an expression of guilt etched on the Dwarf's face and regret laced in his voice. "Dwarven Vow number two, Dad..." Lloyd's voice trailed off. Then, knowing that his foster father was right in his need for sleep, Lloyd laid down and fought off the why's and what if's racing through his mind.

* * *

**A/N**: Phew. Okay, that's done. Lemme know what you think. :) I'm also going to do something I swore I wasn't when I joined I'm plugging my other story. Please go read and review Kharlan! I will love you forever if you do.  



	3. I Will Protect You

**A/N**: There is a fourth part to this. One that I feel it particularly well-written. However, it is...

1. Ridiculously short

2. Purely cathartic in nature.

It's up to you readers if you want to see it.

* * *

Footsteps echoed in the hall of Welgaia, those who flew on wings looking oddly at the auburn-haired Seraph. Their puzzlement amused him endlessly; most of them had seen him _walking_ the halls many, many times. Yes, it was faster to fly, but he refused to use his wings but when it was absolutely necessary. He despised what they represented, what they made him. 

Speaking quick, sharp, quiet words to the guard who now blocked the way to the brig, the guard flew aside with a timid, "Yes, my Lord," and Kratos stepped briskly past him to the jail cell that the kids had broken out of. He brushed his hair out of his face and stooped slightly to touch one of the ruined bars in puzzlement.

He had told the boy to "use his own head." Well, that would be the very last time he told Lloyd Iriving to use his own head. He had, and the result was his rag-tag group becoming so very innocently hellbent on destroying the two worlds. The first mana severance he was annoyed at, although understanding of. It needed to be done to get the party back to Sylvarant, a task he'd predicted when word of their presence in Tethe'alla got to Vineheim.

The second severance concerned him, and a short, tense discussion confirmed his suspicions; he hoped his vague admonition to be patient would be enough to halt their foolish plan, but it was not, and as he felt the third mana link sever, he began to panic. He had no one to blame for the situation but himself- he'd practically asked for it. Finally chosing to attempt to explain why they needed to cease this foolishness, he waited for them at the last seal, where Yuan had cut him off before he could explain fully.

He had to admit, through the horror of seeing his dear friend in that condition and the knowledge that they were on the brink of destruction, he got a smug satisfaction from Yuan's own consternation.

With their help, they were able to save the worlds from immediate danger, as well as Martel, only to discover that another of his predictions had come true- Colette had contracted the very same disease Martel had, so long ago. His heart hurt for the girl and for his son, but at least it gave them something to do while he worked to repair the damage they'd done.

The group had proven, over and over, that they could and would foil any plan he came up with. But this one- this plan had been positively Lloyd-proof. He knew they'd try to get to Derris-Kharlan. So when they did, with the rest of the materials needed to cure Colette, he'd take them prisoner so they couldn't cause anymore trouble, see to it that the girl's illness was treated properly, give Lloyd the materials to forge the Ring of the Pact and help them escape. It was absolutely, completely, positively Lloyd-proof.

Tracing his fingers over one of the bars broken at the top, Kratos pondered how in Martel's name they could have possibly screwed this one up, how they could have possibly broken out. Sighing, he retrieved the security tape and made his way back to his quarters where he watched it from the time they'd been been put there, sitting on his desk.

It was rather boring for the first few minutes, as the group was unconscious, and he fast-forwarded until he saw them start to come to. Resuming at regular speed, he watched intently as the group discussed their attempts to break out- and then the one named Regal blasted through the bars with a bolt of pure mana from his chained hands. The bolt struck the powerbox for the camera and it went dead.

Kratos stared at the blank projector for several seconds. Yes, the plan had been Lloyd-proof. He hadn't considered that one in their group might be able to manipulate mana in that way, and certainly not Regal. He pondered if the man had elven blood somewhere in him, but it was irrelevant. He had to find the Aionis and get it to them. Hopping off his desk, he grabbed his cloak and put it on, then his sword and buckled it at his waist. Checking to make sure he had everything, he left his quarters.

"Going to rescue your idiot son and his band of fools again, Kratos?"

Kratos stiffened at the voice and calmly shut the door to his quarters and locked it. "I don't know what you're talking about, Yuan."

"Funny, the rest of Vineheim does," Yuan replied smugly. "Let me enlighten you, then: Lloyd is-"

"Shut up," Kratos commanded through gritted teeth.

"Oh, now don't be like that. Especially when I'm here out of concern for him." That got Kratos' attention, and he turned to face the blue-haired Seraph. Yuan smirked as he continued. "I suspect he may need your help very soon, Kratos."

"What have you done to Lloyd? I swear, Yuan, if you-"

"I haven't done anything!" Yuan cut him off, raising his hands in a surrendering gesture, but the smirk didn't leave his face. "I just happen to know that he's made a _lot_ enemies since their little adventure started. Like the person who tried to kill you at Hima. It was Lloyd's fault he was injured." Kratos paled, catching onto what Yuan was saying. _No. Impossible. We were best friends. Yuan wouldn't try to-_ "Just think, Kratos," Yuan said, stepping forward. "Think of the guilt you'll feel if something happens to him. You have the chance to save him, to make up for where you failed, but you don't, and he gets hurt because you-"

Yuan stepped forward again, closer to Kratos. "-Didn't-"

Another step, and Yuan's face was inches from Kratos'- "-Go."

"... Where is he?"

"Altessa's," Yuan responded smoothly, walking away. "I pray you get there in time."

Kratos stared at his former friend's back before turning in the opposite direction and bolting for the exit. _I'm coming, Lloyd... I swear, I'll protect you this time, I swear it..._


	4. Between a Father and His Son

I stared after my father's retreating form in the snow. My _father_. The man I'd been secretly praying would find me, the prayers that left such an incredible guilt in my heart. I was happy with Dirk as my Dad, but I still wanted to know my real father.

And now I did. And he'd just unburdened four thousand years of his own guilt onto my shoulders and was now walking away from me.

Like hell he was.

I tore off after him, reaching him just as he was exiting Flanoir's city gates. _"Kratos!"_ I shouted angrily; the man turned in time for me to shove him. I expelled a little mana in the push, almost like a mini Beast, for some reason, and Kratos tumbled backwards, his fall broken by the snow that covered the ground. I stared down at him, oblivious to the tears streaking down my face.

"Lloyd! What is the meaning-"

"Shut up!" I shouted at him. "Just shut up! How dare you? How _dare_ you! First you lead us all on, let us believe you cared for us, then you sold us out to Yggdrasill. _Twice_. All the while knowing I was your son!" I choked on that word, and a pained expression flickered across Kratos' face. Not pained, sheer agony. But now that I'd started, now that it was all bubbling to the surface, I couldn't stop myself. "And now you have the audacity to just dump all that on me, demand that I stop Yggdrasill, and then just walk away like nothing ever happened!" I narrowed my eyes, gasping through sobs that I was suddenly aware of now. "Who the _hell_ do you think you are?"

"What do you want me to tell you, Lloyd?" Kratos replied angrily, my scolding obviously touched a nerve. "Do you want me to tell you about _why_ Yggdrasill couldn't leave me alone?"

"You're Origin's seal. You told me-"

"No, Lloyd," he shook his head. "He _took me_ back to Derris-Kharlan because I was too weak from the attempt on my own life to fight back!" It suddenly got a lot colder; had he... tried to kill himself when he lost me? That's what it sounded like... "Do you want me to tell you about how I suffered in Triet for two weeks before Mithos finally came for me when I was about to die? Do you want me to tell you about the fourteen years I dreamed of nothing but my dead son, woke in tears every time I dared to sleep?"

That struck me. "I thought angels can't sleep."

"Lesser angels and the Chosen cannot," he answered, then heaved a sigh. "I am sorry, Lloyd. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find you, that I gave up too quickly. But I cannot undo that. I cannot rebuilt that bridge."

"You can't rebuild something that was never there," I informed him quietly.

He blinked rapidly a few times, breathing deeply. I was about to ask if he was alright when he said, "Then I can try to build one, then."

"What if I don't want-"

"I love you."

Those words struck me like a blow to the gut, so hard I literally doubled over and my sobs started again. Kratos pulled me down to my knees and rocked me gently, murmuring apologies and words of reassurance. Suddenly I felt like I was three years old again, but this time, I was with my father. It was how it should have been and how it should be.

Fin


End file.
